How do I know these are commandments? Because I have broken most of them! Forgive me, leader, for I have sinned.

I. Be prompt, dress appropriately, and be ready to play when requested. No one cares how great you sound if you’re missing when it’s time to hit the stage.

II. Make sure you know who is supposed to pay you, how much you’re getting, and when you’re supposed to get it.

III. If possible, learn the music first. Nobody ever got fired for knowing the tunes.

IV. Have all necessary music and equipment with you in working order.

V. Tune early and often, but don’t let anybody hear you.

VI. Don’t drink more, smoke more, or play louder than the bandleader.

VII. Don’t solo unless requested to do so. If asked, don’t wear out your welcome.

VIII. Watch the leader, the singer, and the drummer as much as possible, especially near the end of a tune.

IX. Don’t assume your musical opinions are of interest to the bandleader or artist. It’s their gig, not yours.

X. Don’t assume your humor is welcome either. Not everybody thinks you’re funny.