Why Do You Have So Many Guitars? Introduction and Part I

This essay, the first of a LONG series, was first published on my MySpace site, in a slightly different form. I will be reprinting them here as time permits.

Inspired by Rebecca Angler

Introduction

Every so often, someone asks me how many guitars I own. Usually, I answer with some sort of flippant response, like “not nearly enough.” Occasionally, I devote a bit more thought to the question, and try to remember how many guitars I actually have. This often takes a minute or even longer, much to the chagrin of the questioner, who was hoping to hear a simple answer like “five” or “ten” within a couple of seconds of asking the question. There are, at any given moment, quite a few guitars scattered around my apartment in various bags and cases. And I never remember what number I come up with. I always have to count them up in my head before I can respond.

A while ago, Rebecca Angler, a young woman who works in the same office I do, asked me this question as we were getting into the elevator together. Rebecca is very earnest and focused. And something about the way she asked it made me sorry I had ever been glib about it. She really wanted to know. For some reason, it felt like the first time anyone had ever asked me the question.

So I thought I would dash off a little essay listing all my guitars and what musical contexts I used them in. I figured it would take an hour or two to write. I’d send it to her. And Rebecca would know more than she ever wanted to about guitars. Problem solved.

But it turned out not to be that simple. I’ve been playing the guitar, or stringed instruments related to the guitar, since 1967. That was forty-seven years ago, and I have been playing music since 1963. That’s fifty-one years. I’ve been serious about it ever since I started. And like most musicians who’ve been playing that long, I’ve had a lot of instruments go through my hands. Like people, some leave no lasting impression, some are repellent, and some become friends for life.

As I started to write, I realized that each instrument was important to me. In some cases it’s because I aspired to own it and was finally able to achieve my goal. Sometimes it’s because one of my heroes plays a similar model. In other cases, it’s because I’ve used the instrument on recordings I’m proud of, or while playing with musicians I admire. Some instruments just ask me to take them home, at a time when I can afford to do so. And some instruments are like old girlfriends that didn’t work out, for whatever reason.

I also realized that, in writing about my instruments, I am writing a kind of autobiography, at least of my life as a working musician. Each instrument came to me at a certain point in my life, and I acquired them for reasons that seemed important at the time. And those that I no longer own left for compelling reasons as well.

Another part of the story is the people who have worked on, or modified my instruments, including me. Guitarists often customize their instruments, for sonic reasons, cosmetic reasons, or both, and I am no exception. I have also been fortunate enough to have some of the finest guitar repairmen work on my instruments, and I firmly believe that something intangible has been transmitted into the instruments as a result.

Instruments, though non-verbal, have their own stories. A guitar is made from living things, and I believe that on some level it still remembers. I also think that some of myself has been transmitted into the instruments too, especially the ones I’ve played the most. Certainly I’ve been sweating into some of them for years. As you may have guessed, I also believe in spirits and things that we cannot see or understand.

(Not all musicians share these views about instruments. My friend Val Douglas, for example, one of the deepest musicians who ever lived, disagrees with me completely.) Part of the reason that I feel this way is because of my experiences with music and my instruments. I don’t expect you to agree with me; I only ask you to listen.

I realize that I should include some technical notes for my readers who are not musicians. Perhaps I should begin by saying that guitarists (particularly electric guitarists) tend to feel about their instruments the way car nuts feel about cars. Certain makes and models (for example, Fender Stratocasters and Telecasters and Gibson Les Pauls and 335s) are seen as prestigious. Others, like the Ibanez Iceman or the Peavey T-60, are less fashionable, but have their loyal adherents. And some of the greatest guitarists take perverse delight in going against perceived wisdom by squeezing the most out of cheap and/or wacky brands (David Lindley, Buddy Miller, and Ry Cooder are famous examples).

The type of instrument a guitarist plays is often a personal statement in the same way that buying a car is a personal statement. Many of the early electric guitar designs were, in fact, inspired by car designs, and some of the original designers had prior experience in the auto industry. A guitarist sporting a pink instrument with custom inlay is making a statement, just as the car nut driving a silver 2006 Lexus with a red leather interior is saying something. The functionality of the instrument can be incidental.

Also, like car nuts, guitar players like to customize their instruments. This can be for reasons of appearance, functionality (sound and playability), or both. Over the last thirty years, an entire industry has emerged, supplying guitarists with replacement parts and accessories purporting to improve the sound or functionality of the instrument. I am no exception, having spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on parts and modifications in the quest for better sound. (These  statements are all also applicable to guitar amplifiers, the other half of the electric guitar, but that is another essay.)

Popular modifications include changing the pickups (which are essentially specialized microphones attached to the guitar that “pick up” the sound of the instrument and send it on its way to the amplifier) and modifying the guitar’s wiring to get more sounds out of it. Also, some parts of the guitar, like the tuning keys and the frets (the wires you see on the neck of the guitar), are subject to wear and need to be replaced periodically.

Like many pop culture objects these days, guitars are also collectible. As such, they are worth more to the collector if they have all their original parts. The fact that many of the most valuable ones were put together with a screwdriver on an assembly line by factory workers, rather than by master craftsmen performing arcane rituals handed down from their ancestors on priceless hardwoods, seems to make little difference. And the fact that in many cases improved versions of the original parts are available is equally irrelevant.

I am lucky enough to own four of these collectible instruments. As I tell people who compliment me on having them, “It’s no mystery; old guitarists have old guitars!” I bought all of them when they were simply used guitars, not pricey collectibles, And I have devalued all of them significantly by trying to make them sound better and/or more playable. My children will probably never forgive me for trashing their
inheritance.

So, on to the guitars! The story of each instrument is prefaced by a heading indicating the make and model, the color, the year it came into my life, the year it left if it went elsewhere, and how much I paid for it. I either can’t remember or am too embarrassed to admit how much I’ve spent on maintenance and modifications, so don’t ask me. If I could remember, I wouldn’t tell. Here’s the first story:

Instrument Make and Model: Homemade Bass Guitar

Color/Finish: Red

Arrival Date: 1967

Departure Date: 1967

Price Paid: $0

Although I had a middle-class upbringing in rural Connecticut, like many musicians from less privileged backgrounds, I made my own instrument from available materials before I obtained one of commercial manufacturer. My father, an insurance company worker, was also an excellent amateur carpenter, During the weekends, he built things: altars, benches, chairs, tree houses, bookshelves, toys. He never charged anyone for them; I doubt that it occurred to him that he could. They were made for the church, his children, or the household. He was always drawing plans, going to the lumberyard and the hardware store, and measuring, sawing, drilling, staining, and assembling. I spent a lot of my childhood watching him work and accompanying him on his trips.

I had watched him build things ever since I could remember. What he did seemed miraculous to me. He never volunteered much information about what he was doing, but was always willing to answer my questions. When he judged I was old enough, he bought me a small red toolbox along with a hammer, a hand drill, a couple of screwdrivers, and a small saw. Then he patiently taught me how to use them, and installed a small vise next to his large one on his work bench (which he had also built himself) so we could work side by side.

If my parents were home, there was music on in the house, mostly classical and easy listening, with a smattering of jazz on the weekends. No rock and roll! My mother said it was bad music played by worse musicians. My father kept relatively quiet about it, but didn’t care for it much either.

The transistor radios my brother and I received for Christmas in 1964 changed all that. Finally we had a tiny listening environment we could program ourselves. We eventually found our way around the dial to the local top 40 radio station, WDRC, 1360 AM “Big D.” The British Invasion was in full swing and the natives, led by Motown, the Young Rascals, and a thousand garage bands, fought the invaders furiously for chart supremacy. It was a wonderful time to discover popular music. I thrilled to the chart countdown every week, rooting for my favorites, groaning when they didn’t reach number one or were displaced by something corny. Marvelous new records, sneaking into my otherwise hermetically sealed universe bubble through the three-inch speaker or, after bedtime, the tiny one-ear headphone, suggested possibilities far beyond the scope of my weekly trips to the Simsbury Public Library.

“He sounds like he’s going to the bathroom,” my mother commented when she overheard me, entranced, listening to Wilson Pickett scream and grunt his way through “Land Of 1000 Dances” while I sat on the flagstones set into the sparse Connecticut grass.

I had no rejoinder. What could I say to her? This wasn’t singing like the Metropolitan Opera my parents listened to religiously. Or like the singing in the Episcopal Church that made it possible for me to live through the services we attended every Sunday. It wasn’t even like the Louis Armstrong and Fats Waller records my parents played on Friday nights and Saturday mornings, although it was closer. For Wilson Pickett, as he insisted proudly, “Ninety-Nine And A Half Won’t Do!” For a kid who couldn’t even pick out his own clothes without careful supervison and redirection, the independence and total lack of inhibition Wilson Pickett’s music exuded was hard for me to process consciously. But I loved him and admired him tremendously in a way I did not dare to admit to a living soul.

After two years of being glued to the radio, I could stand it no longer. Young people all over the world were making music and it was aimed at other young people, not designed to please or placate parents. Kids at school were bringing in records to show off. Some were even buying instruments and starting bands. Rock groups were a hot topic of discussion in the cafeteria before school and at lunchtime. Kids debated their merits with a passion formerly reserved for sports teams. I wasn’t much of an athlete but I could read liner notes, remember song titles and band names, and listen to the radio with the best of them.

Every weekend when I went into downtown Simsbury with my father, the record bins at Hall’s Furniture, Hoffman’s Pharmacy, and Acme Department Store were full of new releases. The cover designs, the outfits the groups wore, the song titles, grew wilder and wilder. Rock bands started turning up on TV variety shows. My mother was horrified by most of them but at least she allowed me to watch.

I started asking for records as presents at Christmas or my birthday. The first one I received was “Beach Boys Today,” a fine record but not quite what I had in mind. My grandmother used to visit us regularly and was fond of bringing presents for my brother and I. Much to my surprise, she happily sought out the Dave Clark Five’s “Over And Over” (which fascinated me because of the triplet drum rolls and the harmonica solo) upon request.

I saved my allowance all summer and bought “Rubber Soul” by the Beatles, which had just come out. I paid $2.99 for the mono version (stereo was a dollar more and I only had a portable mono record player) and brought it to my best friend Ellen’s birthday party the next day. It was a transcendent event. There were girls there and I had the new Beatles album before anyone else did, making me the coolest kid in the room. Everyone was very excited that I had it; Ellen put it on right away. I had never been the coolest kid in the room; the thought that such a thing was possible had never occurred to me. I leaped around the room joyously as the album played straight through. Other kids danced too. My parents never danced. This was all very new and exciting.

Finally I could stand it no more. Being on the sidelines was unbearable. I wanted to play music, not just listen to it. My grandfather, an amateur musician, had left us a few odd instruments after his death a year earlier. My brother got a xylophone and a zither. I got a tenor banjo and a chromatic harmonica. Nothing was less rock and roll in 1967 than a tenor banjo, and only Stevie Wonder played chromatic harmonica. I played the tenor banjo in my Sunday school folk group, which was better than nothing, but this clearly was not the answer.

One of my babysitters, Charles Blakeslee, had a Hagstrom bass that he had just bought so that he could start a band. At my mother’s request he brought it over so I could see it. It was beautiful. I had never held anything like it. It had a spectacular blue finish that looked like a blue hot rod, gleaming chrome, and lots of knobs and switches. Charles didn’t bring the amp, but I didn’t care. I held the bass until my parents came back, trying to figure out how to play it. I broke the low E string trying to tune it an octave higher than it was supposed to go, much to my horror, but Charles was very cool about it. He said he had a spare set in the case.

Once I had held an actual rock and roll instrument, my fate was sealed. I needed an electric bass of my own. But I didn’t dare ask my parents for one. I couldn’t imagine how much they cost, but anything so beautiful had to be expensive. Plus you needed an amp to go with it. And my parents didn’t like the music people played with it.

We were by no means poor, but my parents were very careful with money. They had suffered through a depression and a world war. The basement was full of canned goods, K and C rations, and shelves of bottled water in case of emergency. Any major purchase was the occasion for much discussion, even if it was something we needed. I could usually coax a small toy out of my father on our weekly visits downtown if I tried hard, but anything substantial had to wait until Christmas or my birthday. I was too young to get a job. What to do? The status quo was not an option.

Then I had a flash of inspiration. When my father needed something, he went down into the basement, drew plans, bought the materials, and built it. Sometimes it took months, but he always succeeded. Maybe I could do the same! But I was in a hurry, plus I didn’t think I could build a rounded guitar body and I didn’t know the first thing about electronics. I looked around my room. Did I have a wooden box I could rework? Sadly, there was nothing. Or was there?

There in the corner was the red metal tool box my father had given me a few years before. It contained a small hammer, a hand drill, , a ruler, a small saw, some chisels, and screwdrivers. I hadn’t done much with it, since he let me use his tools whenever he wasn’t working with them. It was sitting in the corner. It wasn’t wood, but it was a box! I picked it up, tapped it, and it resonated.

Seized by rock & roll fever, I removed the tools, drilled holes in the toolbox, attached a piece of wood to it for a neck, and ran copper wire around a couple of nails at each end for strings. It looked absolutely ridiculous and my workmanship was very sloppy. But it did work. I couldn’t get enough tension on the strings to tune it into the guitar register, but it did sound quite a bit like a bass.  So a bass it would be.

I tuned the copper strings to A and D by referencing my violin, drew some fret markings on the neck with my carpenter’s pencil, and started played it along with my Yardbirds and Beatles records. I figured out where the notes were pretty quickly. It wasn’t that much different from a violin. This was something I could do! I wasn’t just a listener any more. It was very exciting, even if nobody else ever found out about it. In fact, secrecy was a good idea because I had just vandalized a perfectly good toolbox. My family abhorred waste, so for the next few days I hid the toolbox bass under my bed.

All went well for a few days, until I got so carried away with playing my new instrument that I didn’t realize my father had walked in on me without my notice. A laconic person who loved music but was completely unable to play it, he reacted calmly to my construction when he discovered it. I could tell he was surprised, but the punishment I expected for defacing his present never came. In retrospect, I think he may have been proud.

I tried to hide this peculiar instrument from my mother, who disapproved of rock music, without success. But apart from a few snippy remarks when she first saw it, she remained neutral, an unusual stance for her. I expected to get in trouble for damaging my tool box, but never did. As a parent myself I can really appreciate their enlightened response to what must have seemed very odd behavior. I can’t remember what happened to this instrument, but I did get a bigger toolbox at Christmas to replace the one I modified.

The Real Housewives of Lostbrook Road

I originally posted this on Facebook and the reaction to it I received was so strong that I’m reprinting it here, slightly edited. Lostbrook Road is the street in West Simsbury, CT where I spent the first eight years of my life. We lived in a small brown wooden house (#6). It had a gravel driveway and a small pond my father dug in the back yard in hopes of attracting birds, frogs, lizards, and other such creatures that he thought might interest small children. (It worked beautifully.) The house is still there, though it’s now blue and a later owner added a garage.

Yesterday,  in a moment of weakness, I looked at what was trending on Facebook and clicked on “Bethenny Frankel.” I have never seen Ms. Frankel on TV (I don’t watch much TV before 3 a.m.), so I have no idea what she does exactly. But I do know from reading the Daily News that she was on a show called “Real Housewives of New York.”

I’ve never seen that show either, but I do consider myself an expert on real housewives. My mother was one for the first fourteen years of my life, and believe me, she had no time to be on a TV show. She cooked, she cleaned, she did the laundry, she shopped, she chased my brother and me around and kept us from killing each other. She made us go outside to play every day, unless there was a tropical storm or worse. She answered every question we had as honestly and completely as she could, and there were a lot of questions.

If we had friends over, she fed them. She made sure we ate everything on our plates, and that everything on our plates was worth eating. This wasn’t hard, because she was a master chef. She knew everything about spices and how they work together. My mother could cook in a variety of American regional culinary styles and make the cheapest cut of meat taste like the finest you could buy. Her pies were beyond anything I’ve ever eaten anywhere. (Her only culinary weakness was baking, apart from the pies, she never figured it out. She blamed the oven, though we had several.) She knew how to shop for maximum nutrition at minimal expense. She could can fruits and vegetables by hand, and even knew how to dress a freshly killed deer for freezing and storage. (Her father, who built guns from scratch in his basement, had been an avid deer hunter until the day he actually looked a doe in the eye.)

My mother taught us how to listen to music, and how to think critically, and how important morality is. She hated injustice with a passion and fought it wherever she saw it. Mom got us up for school and made us do our homework and got us to bed at a depressingly reasonable hour every night. (This may have something to do with why I went into music, where bedtimes are irregular and usually later.)

My mother shoveled snow and raked leaves. She kept a garden, could tell a bird from its song, and taught us the names of every wild flower in the woods. (I wish I could remember half of them.)

Our house was spotless. My mother got down on her hands and knees at least once a week and washed, by hand, every square inch of bare floor and tile. Scuff marks didn’t last 24 hours. Dirty dishes didn’t stay dirty for more than fifteen minutes after a meal was finished. There were complete place settings at every meal, and no condiment arrived at the table unless it had its own special plate and silverware.

My mother drove us to music lessons, to orchestra practice, to band practice, to the doctor, to the pool, to the library, to the museum, to everything that she could think of that might teach us something. She decorated the house like it was a museum, and rearranged the furniture monthly to keep things interesting. For all this work she got paid exactly nothing. My father worked and supported all of us, and he did things around the house too, but it was really all on her.

In addition to all of this, my mother took piano lessons, taught Sunday school, led a Great Books group and got a Master’s degree in philosophy. She also read five to ten difficult books a month, minimum. When she and my father decided I needed to go to private school, she took a job as a bookkeeper in a local music store to pay for it and became a part-time housewife. And NOTHING CHANGED. She still got everything done every day, just as she had when she was at home full-time. And she managed to stay married to my father for sixty-three years, so I know I don’t know the whole story!

My mother was a REAL woman and a REAL housewife. My mother wasn’t unique in this.  There are millions of real housewives all over the world doing even more than she did, with a whole lot less, and without a man to help them. These reality show housewives…all you have to do is look at their nails and you know what the deal is. My mother was a beautiful woman but she didn’t cut her hair for thirty years. She only wore makeup if she and my father were going out, and if she needed anything done to her nails, she did it herself. I wish they’d find something else to call these people, because “Real Housewives” doesn’t work for me. I find it disrespectful in the extreme.

The Best Gig Ever: House of Blues, Cambridge, MA

Musicians love to trade gig stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. For whatever reason, when musicians, clients, audiences, and money collide, wacky things often happen. Very often, gig stories are about the bad and the ugly; for example, Toots and the Maytals doing a surprise guest set at 4 a.m. on the Vegas strip in order to get hotel rooms for what was left of the night. (You’ll have to wait for that one.)

However, sometimes there are great gig stories; here’s my favorite.

Probably about twelve years ago, I was doing a short tour with Toots in New England. At this point in his career, Toots had been without a record deal for at least that long and he was in a holding pattern.  As great and as hard-working as Toots is, at this point in his career his rewards were in no way equal to his talent.

Because he had a modest but loyal fan base that danced hard and drank a lot of beer, and because he consistently put on good shows no matter what the circumstances, Toots could always manage to patch together a tour somewhere to a few places he hadn’t been for a while and pay a few bills. But we were stuck in clubland with no visible means of escape, playing the same venues over and over and over. The music was always great. Toots is a tough boss, but a very fair person with a deep commitment to his audience and his band. I wasn’t thinking about leaving, but I was starting to wonder if things would ever get any better. I’m sure I was not the only one.

The tour was in the summer, about two or three weeks of beach bar gigs and, I think, a casino gig in New Hampshire that probably paid for the plane tickets. At this time there was a House of Blues in Cambridge and we were booked for an early show on Sunday. Eric Burdon and the Animals were due to play a different show later in the evening.

A House of Blues gig is always a welcome sight on an itinerary. They have good gear, good crews, and good food, and they treat the bands well. Toots is a good fit for the HOB audience and we played all of them at one point or another. But nobody was expecting anything out of the ordinary.

The idea of an early show was attractive; a bit more rest and the chance to see another good act for free if you had the energy. We were pretty tired at that point. It was a hot summer and van tours are stressful even when everyone gets along, as the Maytals usually do. So we did a quick sound check and didn’t bother to go back to the hotel.

Boston has always been both a great reggae town and a great Toots town. But for whatever reason, we hadn’t played there for a while, which possibly explains what happened next. The place filled up quickly, both tables and standing room. We walked on stage and the announcer said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, from Kingston, Jamaica, Toots and the Maytals.”

The audience started clapping and yelling. They didn’t stop. The applause got louder. Paul Douglas, who had been preparing to count off the first tune, stopped abruptly to look around and make sure we were all looking at him because the crowd noise was so loud he wasn’t sure we could hear the count. The applause got louder still. It kept building. Then the people at the tables began to stand up, applauding all the while. It sounded like we had just finished playing and they wanted an encore. Paul put his arms down.

Paul,  Jackie Jackson, and I looked at each other. I said to Paul, “What is this? What’s going on? We haven’t even played a song yet and Toots is still backstage.”

Paul leaned over his floor tom and said, “Andy I don’t know. In all the years I’ve been playing, I’ve never seen anything like this. I guess we just have to wait until they stop.” The people kept applauding. Finally everybody in the room was on their feet, clapping and cheering. Before Toots took the stage, before the band had even played a note, we got a standing ovation.

I will never forget what it felt like to have that sound wash over me. I thought of all the endless drives, the stale air in the bus, the half empty gigs, the bad food, the crummy hotels, the arguments, the tantrums, the fights, sending money home by mail to save the transfer fees and praying it would get there, the lousy house amps, the bad sound, the thousands and thousands of miles by land, sea, and air, the painful phone calls home, the weeks and months away from my children, the missed birthdays, the jet lag, the road weariness. I started crying. I cradled my Strat, looked at the audience, and felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t really care if anyone saw them or not. My shoulders shook a bit. I looked at Paul and Jackie. They weren’t crying, but they were deeply moved. There were expressions on their faces I’d never seen before. I think they may have been replaying scenes from the past too.

Then I thought of something my father had said a long time ago to an old neighbor was questioning my decision to continue with music now that I was about to become a father for the first time. “I started working on my cousin’s farm at the age of thirteen when my father died. And I kept working until I retired a couple of years ago when I was sixty-five. And in all that time, nobody ever once stood up and clapped for me when I was finished at the end of day. When my son finishes work, a whole roomful of people stands up and claps for him. I don’t have any problem with Andy being a musician.” Now here I was, with a whole roomful of people applauding me before I’d started working. Dad would have been very pleased.

It was one of those moments where time seems suspended so I have no idea how long it lasted, but it must have been several minutes. It was as if everybody in the room understood some of what we had been through and was saying, “We recognize you guys. You’re the Maytals. Most of us don’t know your names, but we’ve seen you for years, every time Toots comes here. When we see you walk on, we know we can count on what’s going to happen next. We love you guys, and we know that you work hard. Your music means so much to us. We have loved it for years, and it’s become a part of our lives. Please take a few minutes before you start to allow us to thank you for coming here once more to play it for us.”

Finally the noise died down a bit. Paul counted it off, we launched into “Pressure Drop,” and Toots took the stage. The crowd roared even louder, and of course, it was a great show. But what will always stay with me was the moment when the crowd told us, once and for all, how they felt about us.

So thank you, Cambridge, and good night. We’ll see you soon.